Wednesday, December 27, 2006, 03:19 AMWhy is it we always think of those we miss the most on Holidats like Christmas, and such? Obviously we miss them, no doubt there, but it seems to be more... deep, heart-felt, and I guess depressing ina way. I miss my mom more than anything when it comes to Christmas and the family get togethers. She was the heart and soul of our family. When mom died a part of me went with her, and our family hasn't been the same since either. I'm not sure if it's because dad married another in what some say was a very short time, or what, but it seemed to make things more difficult for the family when he did. I am very happy for him and believe it was what mom would have wanted, for him to not be alone after she was gone. But, even though she's a really great person, and loves my day and takes great care of him, it's hard for some in the family to still accept her as a "mom" figure. It's hard to describe really, but its different. And even though we all try to make the holidays as fun and enjoyable as possible for all, something always comes up at some point to screw it up even in the smallest of ways, intentional or not.
I'm always thinking of mom, and wish that she was around long enough to see my daughters grow, and turn in to young ladies. And I wish she could see, meet and know my sweetheart, Cheryl, my wife. I know they'd get along together all so well, and have some great times together. More than anything I want my mom to see and know how happy we are togther, love and cherish one another. Some say that she can, that she's looking down upon us every day, every minute, and I so hope that she can and is. The 4 most wonderful ladies in my life, make me the most richest, happiest man in the world, my wife, my 2 daughters, and my mom. They have given me the most precious gift of all, the gift of love, caring, understanding, joy and happiness, the joy of tears and laughter, the joy of life in all its splendour. Something I am thankful for every day I awake. God I love them all so so very much and will always have them in my heart and soul for eternity.
Thursday, December 7, 2006, 03:52 PMJust got in touch with an old friend I was stationed with in the Marines in Okinowa, grand ol Camp Hansen. Damn those were the days, they almost seem like yesterday I remember them so well, yet, that was back in 1976-77, 30 years ago!
But, we had some really great people back then, real brothers in the Corp, in some ways, better than blood brothers. We worked hard and played hard, but no matter what, we did it together. There's no time I spent in the Marines that I regret, and no people that I don't remember and respect. I wish that there was a way to travel back in time, literally, just to see the people I used to know, and enjoy life once again, as we did then. But, since this is the Holiday Season, like every year, that's the same thing I think every year at about this time. I do ish them all a most joyous Holiday Season, the them, their families, and loved ones, across the nation.
Where ever you are, and what ever you're doing, Semper Fi, and the best to you and yours, Happy Holidays my friends, brothers and comrades, Happy Holidays.
Commo Plt, Long Lines Co.
7th Communications BN
3rd Marine Division, USMC
Camp Hansen, Okinowa, Japan
The Impossible we do immediately,
Miracles may take us a day longer.
Friday, November 24, 2006, 05:52 PMWell Mr. President Bush, are you satisfied yet with the total chaos and death you've brought on the Iraqi people and the American people? Have the surmounting death tolls, torture and torment that so many are suffering from caused any kind of regret in you at all? Have you no feelings as to what is now going on and only seems to be getting worse day after day?
I would bet anything that if your daughters had taken the opportunity to serve their country as so many others have and continue to do, and end up dying in the process, you wouldn't let things go on as they are. How can you sleep at night after seeing so many die because of your's and Mr. Rumsfields mistakes? I bet he doesn't even give it a thought, but instead thinks about where he wants to go and what he wants to do in his retirement.
How can you and your families go day to day with a stupid smirk on your faces, knowing that people are being tortured, murdered, and now even burned alive, because of what one single individual, you, our so called President, wanted to do?
Why don't you admit you've made a terrible, mindless, selfish mistake, and try to do something about it? How many more Americans, Iraqi's, and innocent people in general around the world will have to suffer and die, just for you? You show no regret, no sadness, no sympathy, or any sign of caring about what is happening to thousands of innocent people, because of you, and you alone. How can you call yourself a believer in God, an American, or simply a good person with all that has and continues to happen because of the decisions you've made, or as some would say, on your watch? No sir, not a chance in hell, not even a slim chance, will you ever be accepted in to Heaven because of what've done, continue to do, and not do. You are not worthy to be called an American, let alone our President, and at the least, should be impeached, and then imprisoned for life. And if not that, then handed over to those that you've cause so much suffering and torment, to those that have lost all hopes of living a normal life, and to those that have lost all that they have, cherished and loved, and those that have lost their loved ones. Let them be the judge and jury for you, as God would have it no other way.
Monday, October 16, 2006, 11:43 PMThe more I sit back and watch, and listen, the more I feel for my fellow veterans, both home and abroad, the inactive and active, the living and the dead, and then, I shed a tear. One of those abroad is my own daughter, though at the time she is not in Iraq or Afghanistan, thankfully.
But it doesn't matter, because there is a problem, a real problem with the current situation for our brothers, sisters, mothers and fathers, relatives and friends that are overseas fighting a war we were blindly led in to, if blindly is even the best word to use. As a veteran myself I respect every one of the men and women serving in our Armed Forces, regardless of what branch of service they are in. They have volunteered in one way or another to do what others can't or won't do, and that's to defend our nation, and our way of life. To watch over us while we eat, sleep, work and play and do whatever it is we want to do. They are out there obeying the orders given to them by thier leaders, all the way up to our president. And if there is any doubt of what they are ordered to do, they first obey that order, and ask questions later, regardless ofwhat the order is, or who gives that order, because they are soldiers, Marines, sailors and airmen, as well as guardsmen, who have all sworn an oath to do just that.
But I am bothered by others in thier chain of command who have also given an oath, and are sworn to protect and serve our great country, that have broken that oath in one fashion or another, wether intended or not. They have provided misinformation, and have basically sent literally hundreds and thousands of our proud and true countrymen and women to thier deaths, when they didn't have to. Yet, they don't have the courage or strength in themselves to admit thier mistakes, let alone try to undo what they have done. Instead, they simply state 3 words over and over again, because they don't have the courage to admit thier mistakes. Instead, they simply say "stay the course." And in saying that, they are simply saying, "keep dying for me because I can't admit I made a mistake." Or, "it's ok that you've lost your arm, leg or eye sight, as long as I don't have to admit I made a mistake." And to the little children waiting at home day after day, "It's the best thing that we can do, we must Stay the Course, so that we don't have to admit we were wrong, that we made some misjudgment, and wrongfully started all this mess in the first place, your parents or loved ones could be killed at any moment, but, we don't have to admit we made any kind of mistake."
I wonder, if there will ever be a day when those responsible for all the suffering and losses will ever be man enough, or have the strength and courage of those they sent in to harms way, to admit they were wrong, admit they made mistakes and poor judgment, and take full responsibility for what they've done, and continue to do to this day? It's kind of doubtful since they can't be re-elected, which is a blessing in disguise actually.
Maybe one day, sometime in the future, those that suffered in Vietnam will receive the apology they so deserve from the governemnt that betrayed them, and those at home that mistreated and berated them for following the same orders they were given as those serving today are doing just like them.
But I know it's asking to much for the truth to be told and admitted to by those who consider themselves higher, and better, then the rest of us.
Wednesday, October 4, 2006, 01:46 AMIt starts out with a feeling of being really tired, worn out from the days events. Then its more like being exhausted as the night goes, to the point you're ready to fall in to bed and just pass out. Then, when it's time, you're there, in bed, looking forward to the nights long awaited rest, relaxation and sleep you've been waiting all day for. Suddenly, after 2 hours of a solid sleep, youfind yourself awaoken by your legs constant movement, like a nervous twitch. No matter what you do, youcan't shake the feeling, it's like taking speed, you have to move your legs, then your arms, and you can't stop.Finally after about a half-hour, you're up and out of bed, heading out to the living room, trying to get rid of that feeling, the need to move constantly, only it's not just your legs, it's your arms as well. You feel it in your whole body, yet, you're tired still, not just tired, but totally exhauseted.Worn down to a frazzle that you can't think of anything but that nervous, gotta move, gotta stretch, need to do something to get it out of your system. After 2 hours of what could be considered a physical workout from the need to move, shake, stretch, push, pull, flex every muscle in your arms and legs then your whole body, you're beyond exhaustion. Instead of falling asleep, you actually pass out. Then like clock work, an hour later, it's back, only now it's more intense. You wouldn't think it'd be possible to be any worse than what you just went through, but it is. It's then, and only then, that you realize what your going through. Like a light bulb being turned on, you see the problem as plain as day. You're going through withdrawals and there's not a thing you can do to stop it now, it's to late, it's gone to far, there's noturning back at this point. There's no hope of making it to the morning with any rest at this point. Not, unless you have something to cure the withdrawls with, do you stand a chance of beating this.
This isn't the first time I've been down this road, nor do I suspect it to be my last. I'm not a addict, at least not what most think of anyways. I'm not a dealer, nor am I a loser. I'm a disabled veteran who happens to recieve all his treatmrnt from the VA for the past 13 years. I have been a patient for their Pain Management for the past 6 years, and up until 2 years ago, never had a problem. But, once things started to change more drastically within the system, more cuts, more losses of doctors, nurses and medical personnel and less money to provide medical treatment for increasong numbers of veterans, when you are allowed only 20 minutes tops to see a doctor for whatever you need, thing shave really gone to hell. Certain medications can't be written with ongoing refills. They (narcotics precisely) have to be written each month by your doctor, where as it is your responsibility to call and remind the doctor 10 days before its due they need to submit your refill so you can get them in time.
It's a broken system that doesn't work, and hasn't worked since it started. I have had to go without medications for days and even weeks, because the doctor either forgot, didn't have the time, or simply ignored the reminder to submit your prescription for processing. At this time, I am on the Fetanyl patch, along a few other medications for the pain management, and of course it started out fine, but as before, I ended up going over 10 days without it because the doctor first thought they did it, then just didn't do it for what ever reason, and there's nothing that I can do about it, but suffer the consequences as shown above. This is what veterans have to go through, regardless of what they may have done for their country, the sacrifices they have made, the losses they have suffered and have endured, for what? To be ignored because the government doesn't care about the medical treatment they get, the doctors who are so overloaded with patients that they can't do their job properly. I have a lot of respect for the medical personnel at the VA medical centers, most if not all try to do their best, but they can only do so much, with the so little they have to work with, moany of whom just up and leave to start their own practice elsewhere because they can't do the job they are hired to do, let alone get paid a reasonalbe amount of money. No matter how you look at it, it all leads back to one main location, the Federal Governemnt that makes all the decisions, decides who gets what and how much. Instead of providing a service to the veterans they send off to war to fight a battle they want fought, they'd rather provide millions and billions of dollars to their little Pork projects, that in turn fill their own pockets for their own personal greed.
Our government is broken, our lawmakers are selfish and blind to the real needs of the people they are suppose to be there working for. Yet, no one seems to care to much as it continues to happena nd go on day after day, death after death, loss after loss.